It’s true that children know “everything” and we as mere grown up’s who have been in this world a lot longer know nothing when it comes to life and what’s “Cool”. After all we have spent all our lives wandering around with our heads in the clouds and god knows what we did before we had these know all kids.

Take a conversation I had with monster the other day in the car, we were driving passed the local shop when he spotted the milk lorry.

Monster:” There are cows in there.”

Mummy: Where?

Monster:” In that milk lorry!”

Mummy: “No there isn’t silly there are just bottles of milk.”

Monster: “Yes but where does milk come from? COWS!!!!!”

Well that was me well and truly told off, but it doesn’t stop with monster, Princess was at it too. We were having a discussion about the stars and the planets, and Princess asked me to draw the world. So I drew the world as I knew it, stupidly I was wrong on this occasion too.

Princess: “Mummy you are rubbish at drawing” (tell me something I don’t know)

Mummy: “Why? You asked me to draw the world.”

Princess: “But mummy if the world was round then we would all fall off and get lost in space!”

So I had to the draw a “flat” world so she could add her countries to it.

Whatever you thought you knew as adults please stop because you are WRONG, as I was told by Drama. Adults know nothing and I was given a list of Adult do’s and don’ts:

You don’t know how to use Heeley’s (those shoes with the wheels on the bottom) so don’t even try!

The only boy bands worthy of being mentioned are those below the age of 30! (So no Take that, Boy zone or dare I say those dinosaurs that are Duran Duran)

We should never dance around the living room to Usher or the Saturdays because that is just WRONG!

Never talk about the toys we used to have when we were little because that was when everything was in “Black & White” and far too boring!

And most importantly we should “NEVER” talk to them when they have friends around! (That’s just UNcool and way too embarrassing).

At least I got a list from Drama, Teenage Mission well what can I say it took far too long to understand what he was going on about. I am now looking for a full time interpreter to tell me what on earth he is wittering on about.

I asked him about what he thought I should know about teenagers today and this is what I was told:

You don’t talk to “NOOBS” (know nothing kids)

You listen to “screamo” bands like Bullet for my Valentine, Paramore, 30 Seconds to mars etc

You play “COD” some war Xbox game, where you shoot “360’s” and record what you are doing and put it on “you tube” so you can get more “SUBs”!

When I was little the closest thing we got to recording stuff was the charts on a Sunday evening, with my finger poised on the pause button waiting for the end of the song. Apparently that is called downloading now!

So now I have a headache just thinking about all of that, I can’t even play Mario without getting killed by one of those flying things. I have now decided I’m not even going to try and understand my kids, they are far too clever for their years and as a 34 year old mother all I can do is put my hands up in the air and shout “I KNOW NOTHING!”

About Lena Doherty

Mummy to four and Wifey to one. I'm a 34 year old,who is following her dream of becoming a Freelance Journalist/Columnist. Trying to make a better life for her little family, dreams of living in the country. Thats all really!
This entry was posted in children, drama queen, family life, funny, monsters, youngesters. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to KIDS KNOW BEST!

  1. So, next time you hear that "Mu-um" followed by "Where's…", "What's…", "How…" or "Why…", just smile sweetly, shrug your shoulders, batter you eyelids and say "I know nothing."'normously satisfying, believe me (and guaranteed to drive teens nuts).

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