We have all been there sitting in the doctors when the smelliest person comes and sits right next to you. Or shopping in the supermarket and you walk past someone who had just let one go and then they try to walk away from the smell.
No well you have obviously never been shopping with me then, I seem to attract these people or maybe just their bad smells. So it was no surprise when a trip to Tesco ended in the biggest smell hunt ever.
It all started whilst we were in the car, the smell was unbearable Monster got the blame big time. The smell was getting stronger and stronger, and little monster was adamant it wasn’t him. So after some investigations he was then cleared of all smelliness charges.
That left four more suspects, once home the smell seemed to be following us all the way from Tesco. I made all the kids take of their shoes to eliminate dog poo shoe, nope shoes all clear but the smell was still as strong as ever.
After checking Monster just one more time for luck, I thought maybe it was me. I had already had a shower first thing, but maybe shopping for bits in Tesco had made me break out in a cold sweat there was nothing to lose. I had a lovely hot shower and changed my clothes, but still THAT smell was unbearable.
So it wasn’t me or monster, the shoes were clear so what the hell was causing the smell? I shouted Drama and had a quick sniff, she smelt like the perfume counter at boots, and then I remembered we stopped off at boots where she insisted on emptying the entire row of testers all over herself.
Teenage Mission was next, I was dreading this one. Teenagers can smell of two things depending on when they last took a shower, it was either going to be Lynx overload or dead rat. I was lucky he had a shower that morning and it was still the Lynx overload, well he has got a girlfriend and it’s always best you smell nice.
Princess Mission was the last on my list, as I pulled her close the smell…..it was her! But I still couldn’t figure out why the smell was so strong. She was clean and tidy and she insists on using my perfume every day. But this wasn’t perfume, deodorant or overload of soap, it was a nasty sickly smell and it was coming from my beautiful 4 year old daughter.
Further investigation was required, I took off her jeans thinking she had accidently forgotten to go to the loo, nope. After further smelling I noticed the smell was definitely coming from her jeans, and then I noticed a small brownish mark by the bottom of her rolled up jeans. I rolled the leg down slowly and out popped a nasty little piece of dog poo!
Everyone cleared the living room, it was like that scene from Monsters Inc when they find a sock on the monster, and the clean team come down and de fumigates him. I was expecting little men to come running into the living room and spray Princess down. But how could Poo get into her rolled up jeans, then I remembered Princess thought she had stood in something and I rolled up her jeans because they were a little bit too long, she must have rubbed the poo off her shoe and onto her jeans, all before I rolled them up.
It all made sense but we still had the matter of this bit of poo in the living room, I was brave and I managed to pick it up with about 50 baby wipes and the jeans well they found themselves in the wash ALONE.